I’ve been pondering a great deal lately about gender roles and the gifts God gives each of us. This is, in part, due to a conference I was recently able to attend in St. Louis by the CBE (Christians for Biblical Equality), and in part due to a new ministry my church is starting up, called “Men’s Fraternity”.
I know very little about the Men’s Fraternity – only what their marketing department writes for churches to use in advertising the program. There is a lot of talk about the “quest for manhood” and “authentic manhood” and in the most article in the church’s newsletter “masculine spirituality”.
These terms seem strange to me, because I almost feel like it makes men believe two things: 1.) they are currently not man enough and 2.) men have their own version of the gospel/spirituality. This disturbs me a little.
The first one disturbs me because, while I believe all people need to grow, I don’t like the idea of the specific connotation that men should grow in their “manhood”. I’m am constantly trying to figure out how to be the best version of myself I am be, only a very small part of that is compartmentalized by the label “woman”. Most of what I am growing in is becoming more like Christ …(uh, oh. He’s a man. Does that mean I’m becoming more like a man? Maybe I need to start my own Women’s Fraternity and make sure that I don’t become like Jesus too much. I don’t want a beard or anything.)
Do you see the conundrum? One of the most compelling questions posed to me recently on the issue of gender roles was this: the 10th commandment says “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” (Ex. 20:17, ESV). Then 1 Timothy 3:2-3 says “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.” The question was posed as this: Why is it that we automatically take our 10th commandment, which uses gender specific language, to be gender-neutral, but we don’t do the same in the 1 Timothy passage? The man who posed this question addressed the issue of Hebrew vs. Greek, context, etc, and I found his argument strong. This makes me want to blow off the 10th commandment and let myself off the hook for coveting, because I’m not a man. (Just like the 1 Corinthians passage commanding men to examine themselves before they eat. Guess I’m off the hook for that one, too.)
When we read gender-specific scriptures, most of the time can make the adjustments in our minds that just because the masculine word used is the default, we understand it applies to us females as well. But why stop short on some issues, like leadership? Doesn’t this beg some pretty thought-provoking questions?
Many women on the egalitarian side of the fence say to me, “This isn’t about power. I don’t want to exert “power” over the church in leadership. This is about my gifting and what God has called me to do.” That’s fair, I think – all issues of interpreting a calling correctly aside.
Then there’s the argument: “When Jesus came, he reconciled every issue in the Fall EXCEPT this one?” Also a fair question. A counter to that I recently had to read for a class was this: “Jesus broke a lot of traditions of the time. Why not that one? Why not make a woman part of the 12 disciples?”
The issue of context and culture is a huge one, and became much more real to me in one of my summer classes, where we examined theologies of interpreting scripture such as synchronic vs. diachronic, minimalist vs. the maximalist, etc, … all things most people won’t understand, but would benefit from recognizing in dealing these kinds of issues.
I am thankful my call is not to the pulpit. If it was I would be a very torn woman. I believe in reformed theology, I believe that God created us, we fell, God redeemed us, and we will be glorified one day. I believe it’s wrong to devalue any human being no matter their gender, race, political beliefs or lifestyle. I believe we should reach out to the poor and help heal the sick. I believe I am forgiven of my sins. But I also believe there are women more capable then men and men that are more capable the woman. Why do we insist on assigning roles and labels to these capability issues?
I have a dear complementarian friend who asked me the question, “Why are you assuming roles are bad?” My answer was, “If my role as a woman is labeled as it’s better for me to teach children than to teach an adult Sunday school class, than “assigning me a role” is bad. I don’t have the gift of teaching children. You don’t want to put me there – it will be a disaster. But I do have the gift of teaching. Being told to suppress my gift because of my gender is unacceptable. Especially when a less capable man is doing the teaching.”
I read an article once that claimed that there are more qualified women than men, but that God will provide a qualified man to lead. Maybe so. So then my gift of teaching is to be wasted, then?
So where does that leave us? Truthfully, it leaves me with the oldest question in the book. Why?
There are a lot of rules in the Bible; there are a lot of good things God wants us to do that don’t come naturally to us. And the majority of them have a great reason behind them – like saving yourself for marriage. The reason is that sex is best and most fulfilling when enjoyed with someone you genuinely love and is committed to you. What about the rule of the Sabbath? The reason is that it’s best for us physically and emotionally to recharge. What about that 10th commandment I mentioned earlier? It’s best not to for the sake of our hearts. Yada, yada. You see what I mean.
But the only “answer” I’ve heard to this issue is: “God designed it that way.”
If I am being really honest with myself, that’s not a reason satisfactory to my head or my heart. I’m just not sure it’s an complete answer to the questions surrounding this issue.
A fellow student here at the seminary, when asked what her plans were after she graduated, her actual response was, “Whatever the PCA will let me do.” That truly grieves my heart. The other night I tweeted “I hate being this sad” (I was having a particularly emotional PMS kind of moment, FYI) and I got two lovely replies back, one from a man I don’t know personally, but is friends with the second man. Both are pastors in a denomination in favor of women leaders, would probably label themselves “egalitarian”, and I see in both of them a love and heart for working alongside people who want to further the kingdom of God – no matter their gender. In their replies to me, I felt valued. And I’ve come to realize that isn’t too much to ask for. After all, God values me.
I trust God. I really do. I also trust he’s given me a calling to teach. That’s a calling I’ve ran from for years, and now that I’m in seminary I know more than ever it’s right for me. But part of being here, at this seminary, means two things: 1.) Most “Conservatives” don’t think enough of me because I’m a woman and 2.) Most “Liberals” don’t think enough of me because I’m not called to the pulpit. Neither one of those is fair and to be honest, I’m sick of it. That’s one of the reasons I appreciate that the denomination I’m currently a part of that has “in all things, charity” as part of its motto. (In essentials, unity… in non-essentials, liberty, in all things charity is the whole, by the way. I love it.)
The world is fallen. As a result, all things live in the grey and not the black and white. While my heart longs for the black and white – the easily understood issues and the straight and narrow path – that’s not what I get. I get the confusing and frustrating situations with the rough and rocky path.
There will be more to come on this, I promise. I miss having time to blog.
This last week and a half has been a trying, stretching and interesting one. A week ago last Friday I gave a sermon on Self-Justification (Galatians 2:17-21 was my text). I had to give a shortened version of that sermon today for another smaller group of women. Last Friday I lead worship for a group of 70 or so women and if anything in the A/V area could have gone wrong, it did. (Plus my guitar broke three days before, so I was using someone else’s). Then today my Administration and Leadership in the Church class had the results of a “Leadership 360” test I asked several people to evaluate me on. Fun.
